How intimidating do you find Sarah on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being not intimidating at all and 5 being paralyzingly intimidating)?1 2 3 4 5If 1: Thank you.If 2 or above: Why the heck? (Please feel free to use reverse side of the paper. Or simply go out to lunch with me because, really, I'm not that bad)
I just don't understand this. To intimidate means to make someone timid, fearful. Webstah!
Pronunciation: \in-'ti-muh-date\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Medieval Latin: intimidatus, past participle of intimidare, from Latin in- + timidus timid
: to make timid or fearful : frighten; especially : to compel or deter by or as if by threats
synonyms: cow, bulldoze, bully, browbeat. "to frighten into submission"
intimidate implies inducing fear or a sense of inferiority into another
A new friend of mine, Joe, recently told my sister that he found me intimidating (but also said some nice things, so we'll let Joe off the hook). The real issue is that I said, "Why the heck?" and my sister proceeded to tell me that most of her friends find me intimidating. No, strike that - most people find me intimidating upon meeting me. I don't think this is true - but I have to concede that Bethany has some verifiably true stories about people that came to her feeling inferior/frightened/whatever after meeting me.
It would be one thing if I were rude to these people - that would be very bad, but explainable. But I always come away thinking, "Hey! That was a good time! I really got to know them! I really respect them!" or something along those lines. Because, while I'm certainly not intimidated by Joe, I felt we were pretty at home/relaxed. But no! Joe was intimidated! And so were a dozen other folks! (No worries, Joe, it's not you - you are just the final straw.)
I am very small: 5'2". I am not strong - anyone in my family could beat me in an arm-wrestling match. I am not a success machine - I live with my parents, earn minimum wage, and am a little socially awkward. I like kittens and gardens. I wear the same clothes almost every day, and they are not stylin'.
Mostly this whole intimidation thing discourages me. I want to convince others of their own value, not my own. When people find me intimidating, I feel as if I've failed at that.
At the same time, I want to be myself. I don't want to limit my vocabulary if I have an effective word. I don't want to be cool with people's actions/words when I disagree with them. Maybe this is what is intimidating?
I feel like Mystique is intimidating. Or maybe Cat Woman. I don't know any real person that I find intimidating - because I have been give a spirit of POWAH!
So please answer my survey. Or enlighten me. Or tell me how to lighten up and help people relax. Because people shouldn't be frightened of a poofy-haired, wobbly-in-high-heels, bites-her-fingernails teacher. That is just silly.
4 comments:
My take:
I feel like you are very genuine when talking to people. You always seem interested, give them time, look them in the eye and smile a lot. I have trouble imagining you not smiling because I can't remember ever seeing you not smiling. You have thoughts about things and are willing to share them graciously when asked. You seem very assured (either self-assured or God-assured). You strike people as someone who is extremely comfortable in her own skin. This combination of traits is not all that common and I think that this may be why people are intimidated. Maybe they wish they could be that way and see themselves as not. Maybe. Just a guess. I wouldn't change a thing about you.
I don't understand why anyone would think you are intimidating. You're not even that smart. You are little and kind of goofy. I am never intimidated by you, but I do like to laugh at you. You make me smile, even when you're not trying to. Intimidating? Not even close.
I think it is just a first impression you give off. for the same reason people think I'm cocky and arrogant when they first meet me, even though in reality I have a realatively low self esteem and don't think I have much to offer the world and I constantly second guess myself. I think for me it was that maybe you possess a little less tact than most people, but that is just what Joni is talking about, you are very honest and self assured and there is nothing wrong with that. So don't change a thing and keep rockin the "Sarah Smith" style, because it's awesome.
-Joe
Thank you Joni, Dad, and Joe (and Tyrone for your facebook comment ^_^)!
Joe, for the record, I did not think you were cocky and arrogant. Dad asked me what I thought of you, and I said, "I have never spent any time with Joe. I don't know." But I see your point anyways.
In my head, this was written in a humorous style, but you guys' responses were an unexpected encouragement I needed to hear this week. Thanks again!
But Dad, you don't fool me. I intimidate you more than anyone. I see fear in your eyes whenever I walk in the room.
Post a Comment