This is one of the best pictures of Em I've ever seen. It was taken by Kristin Roy for the Les Mis cast bios, although I did my best at cropping out the other lovely ladies because I wanted to focus on my magnificent sister. The editing job is bad, but Emily's face is perfect.
Another Chesterton quote from
Orthodoxy (the "Paradoxes of Christianity" chapter) sums up how I feel when trying to talk about Emily:
"If one asked an ordinary intelligent man, on the spur of the moment, 'Why do you prefer civilization ot savagery?' he would look wildly round at object after object, and would only be able to answer vaguely, 'Why, there is that bookcase...and the coals in the coal-scuttle...and pianos...and policemen.' The whole case for civilization is that the case for it is complex. It has done so many things. But that very multiplicity of proof which ought to make reply overwhelming makes reply impossible."
My friend Rachel works at the Latte Cafe with me at
GFR. She comes from a big conservative homeschool family like me and went to the same
university, so we like to swap stories about our childhood, our schooling, and our siblings. A while ago she asked me, "What's Emily like?"
Ummmm....where do I start?
A couple of months ago I was listening to one of
Beth's random cd mixes and
"You'll Be in My Heart" by Phil Collins came on. I started singing along, and then thinking of Emily, because one time she and I had a movie night that culminated in Disney's Tarzan. I started crying like an idiot - the same sappy way I cry in Hallmark card aisles, at Little House on the Prarie, and the same way I cried when I saw that picture of Emily.
Here's what I was crying about. Phil Collins wrote it about Emily and me (probably):
Come stop your crying/ it will be alright
Just take my hand/ hold it tight.
I will protect you from all around you.
I will be here, don't you cry.
For one so small/ you seem so strong
My arms will hold you/ keep you safe and warm.
This bond between us can't be broken
I will be here don't you cry.
It's weird to sing "don't you cry" while you're crying. And yes, this is an insight into one of my more pathetic moments. But I feel this depth of emotion about Emily pretty often. Sometimes it arises inexplicably.
Some things are very simple, even mundane - but some things are very true and beautiful at the same time. Emily is this way to me. Our relationship isn't something magnificent to write about - I mean, it's not Epic of Gilgamesh material. We don't have wild times. It's not as if Emily has a genius IQ, is a great athlete, or is a prime candidate for some Disney type modeling gig. She's just Emily!
What's so great about that? Well...there's her jokes....and there's that hat she wears....and bad fake accents....and laziness....and her thing for kittens....and her wrinkly nose....and honesty.....and her annoyed voice....she's good at Latin....and sometimes I feel like there's a little me running around the house, only better in so many ways.
I love each member of my family very much. I feel about Emily in a unique way, though. Maybe because she's the baby, because she's so much younger than I, because she's having a childhood totally removed from my own, or who knows why. The feeling that Emily is a gift from God is very strong. Not many people have the opportunity to watch their sibling to grow up like this, to shape their life, and be inspired by a baby sister while they're an adult. At least that's how I feel - that Emily is a very unique gift. There would be a cavernous hole in my heart if Emily were removed.
I talk about Emily like someone talks about the person they're in love with - trying to express their feelings, how amazing this person is...while annoying everyone around them! People at work are totally annoyed by my rants about Emily.
But all these words don't seem to be enough! I want to babble on like the "ordinary intelligent man" in Chesterton's story. There are bike rides! Cartwheels! The serious face she makes: slightly raised eyebrow, slightly pursed lips. Puberty! Yes. Puberty.
Anyway, this is enough. I have to go to her soccer game now. If you're reading this, I assume you've at least met Emily, if you're not enamored by her like me. Leave some Emily love in the comments - what would your grasping, Chesterton explanation of Emily look like if someone asked, "Why is Emily better than no Emily?"
